Breakdown, Breakthrough, Integrate


All that is false ( false meaning whatever makes us feel separate from God) begins to breakdown, sometime piece by piece or sometimes by hitting some sort of bottom.  Whatever we have used to hide behind stops working and try as we might we cannot continue the sham.  All the false images we have created start to give way and disintegrate right before our eyes like sand slipping through our fingers.  Just as we cannot hold onto sand once we open our fingers, the same is true about trying to hold onto an image that has been shattered to pieces.

At this point we can be a bit dazed and confused.  We might feel like we are neither here nor there.  We are no longer clinging to the past and its conditioning but we are not quite fully present either.  Then another shift happens and just like Alice in Wonderland stepping through the looking-glass everything is changed.  We begin our journey into new territory, a breakthrough to another side of life not previously known to us. XfHg6

We begin to surrender and open up allowing for an integration of our divine self with our human self.  Our personality aligns with our soul.  The pretense is over and we are now connected to our true self.  We are whole.  We are no longer trying to find the missing pieces of ourselves in the external world.

When we try to live our lives without knowing that we are divine as well as human, it is like we are constantly trying to walk up a steep mountain feeling like we will never reach the top.  We do not recognize we have been walking on the top of the mountain the whole time.  Once we recognize this we can relax and breathe easy and stop trying to reach a perceived better destination because we understand that we are already at the highest point.

Trying to live without allowing divine energy to flow through us is like having access to fresh flowing water but only turning the faucet on enough to let a few drops of water flow through.

Without the guidance of divine energy we are walking a dark path holding only a small flashlight able to see only glimpses of what is right in front of us.  Through the integration of our divine self with our human self we realize we are one with all that is, we are illuminated from within bringing light to all that is.  Knowing we do not have to fear what hides in the shadows because there are no more shadows, nothing is hidden from our sight.  We enter a never-ending expansion of love, abundance and connection.  Trying to become something more ceases.  We come to understand that we are good enough just as we are, we know we are worthy of love and always have been.  We relax into our beingness and open up to the peace that passes all understanding.


An inner calmness promised to the believer who has a thankful attitude based on unwavering confidence that God is able and willing to do what is best for us. Our trust in Him brings about  peace that transcends human intellect, and human analysis. God’s peace guards us from anxiety, fear, and worry.  We let go and let God.

Falling In Love With God (be love now ~ ram dass)


Falling in love is a desire to merge with, to be completely immersed in love and be loved by the beloved.  You want to know your beloved more and more intimately.

True, sometimes you have to prime the pump before your heart is open enough to love that deeply.  You begin a process of purification to get into a position to fall in love with God.  You become disciplined not out of guilt, shame of moral responsibility, but out of an incredible yearning to be pure enough to be with God.

There is no time off in this game, not because anybody’s keeping score, but because you can’t stand moving away from the light. The longing and despair of separation wake you up. 

In this loving moment you begin to appreciate a new way of being. When you stop for a moment, when you dive into the presence of this moment, the drama goes on, but it’s all just love. You just climb into this moment.  Being in the moment moves you out of time.  It’s the timeless moment.  In the moment is eternity.  In the moment is God.

In this loving awareness of each moment there is also surrender, surrender to the moment, to your soul.

Then when you look at another being, you are looking at love.  Sooner or later you are going to be in love with the whole universe. You’ll be sitting in a place where it’s all just one love.  You are love, you are with love. You are in the state of love with all beings.

We learn how to love the universe just the way it is. We learn how to see the universe as the beauty of God’s law made manifest.  We learn how to accept the responsibility that we are all one consciousness in many bodies.  We are One Family.

Love is what’s melding the universe together.  You love everybody and everything more and more until you love all things in the universe, and you identify with all things and become the One.  When you dive into the One, you find emptiness, because there’s no experiencer in the One.  The love brings about that melding, that jump from being everything to being nothing, from being somebody to being nobody.

Love is the emotional color of the soul.  Unconditional love is the color of enlightenment, unfettered by personal barriers or distinctions, devoid of ego, yet reflecting the highest Self. It’s like sunlight unfiltered by clouds or the taste of water from the purest spring. 

~be love now~ ram dass

Compassionate Communication



I have spent the past eight years in a place of observation.  I have been trying to understand and learn about the causes of conflict, separation and suffering.

I consciously have chosen to take time in my life to do this.  I have not been in a place of judgment or blame (of myself or others), but more so in a place of contemplation.

In order to create the space in my life to do this, I had to set some limits on my “normal” ways of being.  I had to learn to set healthy boundaries, be still and detach and in the process I risked losing some relationships.  I risked becoming a target of others judgment (mainly from a lack of understanding).  I did not feel I needed anyone’s permission to make a choice that I knew in the long run would benefit myself and anyone I interact with in a positive way.

I see this choice as an act of self-responsibility and self-love.  My goal has been (and still is) to heal anything that was/is preventing me from living a life of wholeness and unconditional love.  The main healing has been/is letting go of any past hurts and/or preconceived future hurts.  My focus has been on becoming present and wholehearted, first to myself and then to others.

My way of doing this has been and is mystic centered.  Mystic: A person who seeks by contemplation and self-surrender to obtain unity with or absorption into the Deity or the absolute, or who believes in the spiritual apprehension of truths that is beyond the intellect.

I recently decided to dedicate the next six months to a year to specific spiritual disciplines.  Meditation, Prayer and Yoga are daily practices for me.  I do not use these practices as a way to escape my human experience.  I see them as inner pathways that lead to a deepening of the human experience and a conscious and complete incarnation of the divine self with the human self.

I have always been a HSP – Highly Sensitive Person.  I have been told by others that I am “too” sensitive.  Personally I thank God for the HSP’s walking this earth, the artists, poets, writers, musicians, ministers, therapists, healing arts professionals, etc. etc.  To me they are like a canary in a coal mine; they have reactions in body, mind and spirit to what is toxic in our world.  They are not shut down and emotional numb.  They feel deeply.  They sense and know things long before the majority.  Some animals sense when a disaster is about to hit and they react long beforehand and try to find their way to safety.  When a human has this experience they want to warn others and not just save themselves.  They also want to be of service to the suffering in this world.

I have so much respect for people who are on the front lines so to speak, who are in service to others from a place of loving compassion.  Not only people who have an active business but people who carry the message of love and truth in their every day endeavors.

Another avenue of focus for me is learning to be a Compassionate Communicator.  For me compassionate communication is the bridge to healthy and loving relationships.

Link to a quick tutorial on Compassionate Communication


Excerpt from a quick tutorial on Compassionate Communication:

The ability to keep observation and evaluation separate is the highest form of human intelligence ~ Jiddhu Krishnamurti

Some common types of evaluations:   


It’s a simple fact that we all tend to habitually and automatically evaluate and interpret whatever we observe. This probably had survival benefits in the jungle by helping us predict what might be running after us on the trail. But when we are in non-threatening situations this “skill” of evaluating, interpreting and imagining often doesn’t serve us at all – instead it adds unfortunate, even poisonous meanings to what we observe, . We often add information that is not actually there, usually by reaching into our past for similar situations, and then we can imagine that someone is saying something or meaning something that they are not. This is also the process that causes worry – our uncontrollable imagining that undesirable things will occur. These imaginings and projections are one of the main causes of conflicts.

Most humans are not conscious of this process within themselves. When we see or hear something, instead of just noticing it for what it is, we often react – we worry about the implications of it by creating dire scenarios in our mind and then getting upset with them; we project out what we think the other person is “really” doing or meaning and then we get angry about what we think; we go into our past to similar situations, but of course bad ones, and decide that “we’ve seen this before” and then judge what we are observing as bad. There are endless ways we use our mind to add more than what is really there – and then to get upset about it. And to boot, we hold on dearly to what we imagine too, as though this creation of our mind is absolutely true, and we rarely think to verify it before we pronounce our judgment! We are very skilled at finding ways to get upset.

So the first skill in Compassionate Communication is to develop the more advanced skill of being aware of what we are observing and how we are adding our own extra content: our imaginations, worries, projections – and interpreting, analyzing, or labeling it. We simply want to bring this process into consciousness so that we can check to see if our thought about what we are observing is indeed correct or if we need to adjust it.

The simplest way to experience this is to imagine that you are a video camera. If there was an argument going on between two people, a video camera would report exactly what they said, and how loudly, and with what facial expressions. But it would not interpret it and say, “These two people fighting, and they are fighting because one of them is an idiot and the other is acting like a victim.” Only humans would try to add that extra content, and interpret it that way – and then start an argument about whether it is true or not. So let’s practice for a bit being a video camera and see if we can just report the facts.

It’s understandable that we want to free ourselves from powerful frustrations. And the most effective way is to do the normal steps of Compassionate Communication:

1 – Observe clearly without evaluation what happened
2 – Experience and acknowledge our feelings
3 – Look for the values, desires, importance and needs that seemed to be threatened or shattered by the situation

As this process becomes a natural part of our life, doing these steps will often resolve the desire to blame without even needing to talk to the others involved, but even when we do want to talk to them, we will be able to share our experience, taking complete responsibility for our feelings and not needing to accuse or blame another.

The Compassionate Listening Project

Book on Practicing the Art of Compassionate Listening

Compassionate Communication website

Book: Inner Empathy: Opening Ourselves to the Heart of Self-Compassion