You Can’t Have Your Cake and Eat It Too

cake

So many times in my life I have found myself in a work situation or a personal relationship where it felt like the person or persons wanted to have their cake and eat it too when it came to what they were requiring of me.  Now I understand that when I am feeling this way it is a red flag.  It is time to stop and examine the situation and/or relationship.

When I start to feel this way it means I am at some sort of impasse. I need to make a choice or remain stuck and feel victimized.  Similar to being stuck in a traffic jam, I have to decide how I will deal with the temporary impasse.  I can sit idly and accept the situation, I can start thinking about what my options are once traffic starts moving, I can pull off onto the shoulder of the road and start walking (a choice with not so good consequences), I can turn on some music or audio book and enjoy the moment the best I can.  I can consider if there would be a better route to this particular destination the next time, I can feel victimized and start finding someone to blame for the cause of the impasse, etc, etc.  Then based on all my options I have to make a choice.  My choice will be based on the consequences of my decision and on my preference of what I want to experience.  If my preference is to feel victimized then I will start to blame someone.  Whatever choice I make will reveal to me my true state of mind.  And if I understand I am choosing to have whatever experience I am having I can no longer claim victimization and if I do I have to realize I must like the feeling and therefore I am not really a victim because I am choosing it.

I have always believed that I can have anything but I can’t have everything.  If we try to have our cake and eat it too we are under the belief that we can have everything.  When I find myself in situations or relationships that are requiring more than I can give and still keep my balance, I must be willing to see that this situation or person wants to have their cake and eat it too. It is up to me to show them that they have to choose to either treat me with fairness and equality or I will have to leave.  Just as much as I realize that I can have anything but I cannot have everything the same applies to others. There are many people and situations that will try to have their cake and eat it too, if we let them.

 

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