Awareness of Awareness

It’s all about Presence.
Unknowable to the intellect, obvious to the innocent heart.
~ Burt Harding

Recently I wanted to try to express to some close friends that I needed to take a break from being “the listener”. I personally did not want to continue to create any more stories or listen to the stories or others. I wanted to express that I was not ending the friendships but I was going to be spending time in silence. I did not want them to take my silence as rejection. It’s not that I did not care about their experiences or have compassion. I have compassion for all of us who are on this journey through life. I am just at a place of surrendering to what is and not trying to or wanting to figure anything out with my mind.

My communication did not go well. I ended up getting caught up in emotional reactions because I felt I was not being heard. This was hard for me to understand because of all the listening I had done in the relationships. I eventually realized that I again was making up a story in my mind and in reality there really was not a right or wrong, a good or bad, just another pointer to what is. I had to return to the truth of my being. I had to let go of the distorted perspective that my mind wanted to create. I had to see the story I was making up and let it go. I had to find my way back to Unity, Oneness, Love and Grace.

I am not sure why I am being called into silence but I trust it. I just have not figured out how to stay connected with others and not get pulled into the mind and stories and trying to figure things out. I don’t want to talk about how to get to oneness, love, peace and grace, I want to be oneness, love, peace and grace. And I know that I Am.

I am at a place of knowing there are no answers, I am no longer seeking. Silence and the stillness it brings is the only answer there is.

We may have a fear that if we let go of seeking that we will experience a sense of hopelessness, a sort of nothingness or emptiness, but in truth that is when we connect to all that is. When we allow ourselves to experience emptiness we find fullness, nothingness becomes the doorway to all-ness.

I think there are different stages of awakening. First we believe that what we seek is in the external, then we shift to internal seeking and finally we reach a place of knowing that they are one and the same.

There’s no one to believe in awareness, you can only be awareness. You cannot become awareness, you already are awareness. But because consciousness is inside this body also and consciousness is also the child of awareness, it’s the form of awareness. So awareness experiences itself with the assistance of consciousness and the body and you feel a sense of I Am. I Am is actually the Christian name for Awareness.

Documentary – “Beyond Thought”

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/beyond-thought/

To my friends…..
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and right-doing there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about.”
~ Rumi

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