Fear of being controlled and fear of losing control creates a futile attempt of trying to be in control. All of this is based on fear/ego.
The need for control is an addiction. It is an addiction that most people have. The need for control is probably the biggest Sin (Self-inflicted non-sense) / Fear (False evidence appearing real) that we have as human beings. It is what stands in the way of a life of love, joy and peace.
It is this control factor that prevents us from being able to surrender and the paradox is the only way to find that which we seek (love) is to surrender.
This is the ultimate wake up, to understand that there is nothing to find through seeking outside ourselves. Grace is knowing we are not lost and never were. Surrender, acceptance and forgiveness are all the same experience. It is through surrender, acceptance and forgiveness that Grace enters our experience.
We don’t know we are love so we start seeking it outside ourselves. Our attempt to do this is why we fall into false belief’s that someone or something is trying to control us or we fall into the false belief that we can control someone or something outside of ourselves.
This fear of losing control and being controlled usually begins when we are very young. It is what causes us to build up ego defenses. This fear is what disconnects us from our true nature. We forget that we are love. So in a way we become unnatural and we start to create a pretend self, a false self. We then actually start to grieve for our true self (but we are not consciously aware of this). That is how all addiction starts. This grieving for the true self creates suffering. We bounce around in the stages of grief, anger, denial, bargaining, and depression, but we never reach the final stage of grief which is acceptance.
When we know we are love we can surrender to what is. We are no longer seeking love because we know we already have it, we are it. Our true nature is love.
Sweet Surrender – John Denver
Lost and alone on some forgotten highway
Traveled by many, remembered by few
Lookin’ for something that I can believe in
Lookin’ for something that I’d like to do with my life
There’s nothin’ behind me and nothin’ that ties me
To somethin’ that might have been true yesterday
Tomorrow is open; right now it seems to be more
Than enough to just be here today
And I don’t know what the future is holdin’ in store
I don’t know where I’m goin’, I’m not sure where I’ve been
There’s a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me
My life is worth the livin’, I don’t need to see the end
Sweet, sweet surrender
Live, live without care
Like a fish in the water
Like a bird in the air